A Letter to my Former Self || Motherhood

 

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This is a letter to the person that birthed a beautiful soul one year ago.

Hi there,

I kind of know who you are. I DO know this….you’re about to birth a stunning being into this universe and she will change not only you and your husband but the world.

I have a couple of things I need to tell you so I can prepare you for your journey.

You’ll NEVER be ready….just hold on…it’s like you’re on a roller coaster but not actually IN the seat. You’re hanging on with the wind in your hair and your legs flailing behind your body. It’s the ride of your life and the most challenging, humbling, and breathtaking year of your existence.

Survive.

Get off ‘Google’ RIGHT NOW…put your raspberry leaf tea and your phone down and GET OFF the internet. Enjoy the dance going on inside your belly right now. It’s the closest she will EVER be to your heart. Google will be the bain of your existence if you don’t learn now to turn it off. It will cause stress,bad self image, doubt, and more worry than it’s worth…so will Facebook and Pinterest if you keep looking at what every other mother is showing off or what every single person is doing with their life.(It’s true…moms show off..no shame in that..you’ll be a proud beaming mother….posting 10 pictures a day, showing off those beautiful eyes, soft nose, baby butt, etc…)

It will be the best year meeting new friends and new moms that will support and love on you and your baby bird.  It really will….the community here in St. Augustine is THE BEST. You’ll gain so many life long friends.

I want you to hear me out on this one.

I seem to keep talking about it but it’s very important in the first year.  DO NOT COMPARE to how other babies are developing differently than yours…quit worrying what other moms are doing with THEIR children…and RELAX. She may roll,crawl, and walk later than others. She may even be ahead. Awesome…whatever the case, they all have different developmental paths. It’s not a bad thing to look at Baby Center but don’t take it as GOD. Again…internet….only should be used in small doses.

You may get the stank eye for nursing in public…just smile. Never say “I’LL NEVER DO THAT WITH MY CHILD.” You’ll end up doing every one of them. Co-sleeping, pacifier,cry it out,nurse over a year,etc…The ONLY time you are allowed to give another mom the stank eye is if she’s smoking while pregnant. Stare HER DOWN.

Your body will never be the same. You’ll see wrinkles, marks, scars that were never there before. Shiloh was there…it’s a beautiful reminder of where she came from knowing she depended on your every breath.

Try out a good wrap or carrier. It will save your life since she will want to live on you for the first 3 months.

You are a supermom. Having said that, have grace and mercy on yourself and your husband.

You are not Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart and you can’t be everything all at one time. First and foremost, that child is your #1 priority. I know you’d like to make your own clothing, bread,start a garden, take yoga,bellydancing,aerobics,pilates, and zumba classes, volunteer, make your own cloth diapers, live off the earth, take classes, be a doula, make jewelry, learn how to quilt,sew, etc… and learn about EVERYTHING ELSE UNDER the SUN but ALL in due time…Don’t stress yourself out over it. Do the best you can….but if it causes worry and anxiety, forget it.

No more sterotypes.

You may be “hippie” like but you sure do like your steak don’t you? So what? It’s ok……I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve tried cutting out toxic chemicals but when there is not time, guess what, I use bleach.

When I don’t have time to make baby food or cloth diaper detergent, guess what? I’ve eaten instant mac&cheese, canned veggies AND used regular detergent. WHAT?!

The house can wait. Messy vs missing out on playing with your child I’ll take a messy house any day.

Dress up every once in awhile and make your bed. You’ll feel better.

Don’t forget your husband……take care of him. Love him. He helped bring that beautiful soul into this world. He IS the other half of you…remember that.

Enjoy cloth diapering! It’s really not so bad….if you’re tired or if you’re going on a trip, don’t feel bad about using disposables. AGAIN, SURVIVAL.

Take ALL the pictures you can….enjoy putting her in a pumpkin and mermaid costume and transforming her into Supergirl. You have the TOOL..use it.

I say all this because I know you’re WORKING as well. Grace…my friend…grace. Be gracious to yourself. You can’t be everything to everyone else. You ARE everything to your daughter.

Work hard during nap times but guess what, you need a nap too. Lesson learned a year later. Lay down…rest your eyes.

Get ready for a strong willed child that doesn’t like to sleep. Yep…remember when you prayed for a strong-willed child..well you got what you asked for. You will probably try not to remember that one but you did. The next time you’ll get 8 hours of sleep will be a year from now so I’m just saying….you need to build yourself up. You’re nerves will be shot and this goes back to my previous post on TAKING NAPS.

Shiloh’s beautiful. She’s funny..full of life..always moving…chases the dogs…has the best mullet you will ever witness….says “dada” all the time, barks at the dogs,almost walking,loves people, waves goodbye,blows kisses,STILL doesn’t care for food unless it’s soft or pureed, loves to dance and bounce, loves the Chica Show and Goodnight Star, Baby Einstein, jams to Elizabeth Mitchell on Pandora, enjoys bath time, HATES sleep, her curiosity is astounding and the way she connects with people is even more so.

And I leave this for last only because I hope I have your attention now…This is the most important.

Spend time with the One who created her. You think you have a hard time ‘fitting’ Him in now well just wait…..life gets busier the more children that are added to the mix but never make him last. He comes first…I wish you’d take 10 minutes out of your day to spend time reading about Him, talking to Him, and praising Him.

You both are going to be wonderful parents. Enjoy the ride. Don’t get so busy that you miss out on every little thing she does. She’s worth it all…..

Job well done.

Love and peace,

Future Dawn || Year One

 

 

 

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